26. a letter to my students

thinking about collective processing in the classroom

Hi there! 👋 I’m Ida, and this is tiny driver, a newsletter about research, pedagogy, culture and their intersections. Thank you for being here. Reach out anytime by just hitting reply, I love hearing from you.

Well, last week was a thing that happened in our waking lives.

Rest assured that I am not exaggerating when I say that I haven't stream-of-consciousness journaled so consistently in my life. The act of writing down some of the anxieties I was having over the state of the world was ultimately helpful, but I could feel my muscles tensing up when I would first sit down to word vomit onto the page.

One thing that I noticed giving me a lot of grief was the dialogue that was happening over social media, specifically twitter.* Many of the people that I follow are academics and journalists. Their real-time take on current events is usually validating to my own lived experiences. See exhibits A & B (parts 1 & 2) & C:

Heather Cox Richardson (TDPR) @HC_Richardson

Yesterday the Executive Branch of our government tried to destroy the Legislative Branch. The president tried to become a dictator. Now is a fine time for the Legislative Branch- Congress- to reassert the equal power the Constitution gives it. Impeach the lawless president.

Melani McAlister @MelaniMcA

When I hear somebody bemoan the attack on the Capitol as "not who we are"--evoking some vision of the US's essential liberalism, cherry-picking their history as a performance piece of American exceptionalism, I think of Mark Twain, writing almost exactly 120 years ago.

Melani McAlister @MelaniMcA

"There must be two Americas: one that sets the captive free, and one that takes a once-captive's new freedom away from him, and picks a quarrel with him with nothing to found it on; then kills him to get his land." Be honest, & then fight for the world you want.

Ananya Roy @ananyaUCLA

This spectacle of non-policing is quite something. In one of the world’s most militarized cities. A stark reminder that in this settler democracy, the seat of power is a comfortable & welcoming space for white supremacist violence.

But this time, I also felt somewhat of a disconnect in the commentary. Perhaps it is because a tweet is not enough space to nuance thoughts or provide clarification, but I felt it nonetheless.

With the Capitol's insurrection by white supremacists on Wednesday, many were writing that this should not have been a surprise—that this sort of exclusionary ideology has been embedded in our national structure since its inception and that it is in keeping with the realities of the nation-state.

And this is definitely true. I agree with the sentiments expressed that critiqued language such as “This isn’t American,” or, “This isn’t us.” Our nation’s history is embedded in legislation and judicial decisions that fought to maintain a very specific understanding of being American as synonymous with being white. I write about this, I teach about this. I think about this often.

But here is where it got a little difficult for me: some were writing that to say one "can't believe" what is going on, that one is "shocked" by these events, is to say that one does not know history. Because in this sentiment, I heard: one cannot and should not feel these emotions while also being aware of the nation’s many failures and limitations.

I think that the affective judgment here is quite rigid. Because—and let's be real, here—I "couldn't believe" what was happening. I couldn't believe that I was sitting in my apartment, trying to work on getting my Canvas modules together for the quarter as white supremacists were scaling the side of the Capitol (????) and destroying what was inside. I couldn't believe that if I didn't check the news, it would feel as though nothing was happening. I couldn't believe that the reality of the Capitol's attempted takeover and my quotidian activities were occurring simultaneously. I couldn't believe that it felt like in that moment I had no control over the future of the country in which I reside. I was (and to a certain extent still am) grappling with the cognitive dissonance of it all.

There is space enough to hold both. To have different timelines for intellectual and emotional processing. And I think we can feel things that surprise us even if we “know better.” And that’s ok. Last week was grueling—let’s show each other emotional grace as we move forward in preparation to “fight white supremacy and sow revolutionary love.”

*I know, I know. I should have disengaged sooner. And once I recognized this source of anxiety, you better believe I blacklisted twitter from my web browser. But it definitely did take some time to figure out.

What I teach.

Northwestern's quarter begins this week.

Over December and this first bit of January, I've been preparing for the two courses I'll be teaching (Transnational Asian American Activism + Race and Nation in the US) by getting together the syllabus, designing asynchronous assignments and other assessments, etc etc.

One thing, however, that I didn't anticipate having to prepare for was January 6. Luckily, I was not alone:

jwb @jwbernier

First damn day of the semester and I gotta email my classes about a coup...

I ended up reaching out to Dr. Bernier, basically to ask "Would you share what this looks like for you?" And she responded with some wonderful advice that made me feel like my instincts were in the right direction:

...what I usually do is start class by first acknowledging that whatever happened actually happened, explaining it to them clearly, relating it to class (where/as possible), and asking them if they want to talk about it before we move on (usually we don’t move on), and ask them if they have any questions...

She went on to say that just acknowledging the situation and providing space was helpful for students. And that's what I'm going to try to do.

On Friday, I sent out an email to my classes. This is an excerpt of what one of them looked like:

Hi all,

I hope that you all are hanging in there considering the circumstances of this past week. Although it is the week before the quarter begins, I'm writing because I thought it is still important to acknowledge and recognize the insurrection of the Capitol on Wednesday and its implications for the quarter.

Things are heavy and hard right now.** And while I am also processing the current state of affairs, I hope that our class can serve as a space to collectively process, emotionally and intellectually.

So much of what we will be learning about this quarter looks at the historical foundations of the political, economic and social structures that make up the US--their possibilities and limitations--and the importance of activism in movements for change and liberation. And it has direct ties to what we witnessed a couple days ago. While I can't promise answers, I hope that our sessions throughout the quarter will give us some space to acknowledge these events in whatever form that may take.

I encourage you all to take the time you need before the semester starts to intentionally do something kind for yourselves. Go outside, watch a comforting movie, practice taking long, deep breaths--whatever is most helpful to you.

When you are ready, I invite you to take a look at the syllabus, sign up for a group facilitation day and complete the course questionnaire. [...]

So, I'll see you all in a synchronous class for the first time on [...]. Please take care of yourselves until then, and feel free to email me with any questions.

Be well,
Prof. Yalzadeh

This is the energy I am hoping to bring to this quarter that feels so uncertain. Let's move forward providing each other collective spaces to process and just be.

**Deep gratitude to Dr. Kyla Wazana Tompkins for sharing this language last year.

What I consume.

In the Bookshop:
Currently Reading: Pachinko by Min Jin Lee + Know My Name by Chanel Miller
On Deck: Juliet the Maniac by Juliet Escoria

Item(s) of note.

• A Christmas gift (pictured above) from my dear friend Jane K. that's bringing me some light during these dark times. (It’s boba, just in case ur unsure hehe!)

• Something that inspired me this week in my goal-setting practice: WOOP (or: wish, outcome, obstacle, plan)

• If you're asking students to write an analytical paper this term, LD Burnett's piece might be helpful for them to read.

• "I commit to keep going, to keep doing what I can to challenge inequalities where I am." -Sara Ahmed

• A lovely guide to online friendships.

• My ideal background work music (also the raccoon is pretty cute):

A pup-date.

It is very difficult to get out of bed when I see Higgins looking like this. Those eyes!!!

As always, thanks so much for reading through, and I'll see you in the next one!

Warmly,
Ida

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